Tough love for a teen


My history with Rosemond is long. Dr. Ravenel interviewed me concerning our older child for 'The Diseasing of America's Children." I've been to several conferences and read all the books. For my FIRST child that is.
Now, my SECOND child is trying to kill us. He is painfully shy, and 6-6" and doesn't play basketball in a basketball town. He gets bullied a lot, made fun of. He's artsy and listens to Pink Floyd, has long hair, etc.
He goes to a horrible huge public high school, bc it's an arts based magnet school and he has a strong group of squeaky clean friends. This was a mistake however.
This year in 11th grade the wheels have come off and I don't know what to do. We've caught him drinking, and smoking pot. Also he's isolating himself and failing 2 classes. He routinely refuses to go to school and skips and lies about it. He will not do anything we ask. Won't get up, go to bed, go to school, just simple things. We've grounded him, taken away allowance, taken away all privileges and he just gets worse. More depressed, more isolated, more angry. When he is grounded he is totally alone except for his parents and refuses to be in the same room with us.
We think the drinking and pot smoking have stopped. But the behaviors and failing grades have not. Basically if we say black he says white and it is causing much stress in our home.
I don't know what to do. The harder the consequences the more he locks down. He is unbelievably stubborn.

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