I am on day 12 of potty training my 19 month old twins. I trained my older 2 at 16 and 17 months using your method, so this is not my first go-around, but the twin thing is proving to be a major challenge. Neither will stay sitting on the potty without me standing there in front of them. Even if I do stand there, one often starts crying which gets the other going. I have at times fallen into the trap of entertaining them, but I realize this is not only against your advice but also unsustainable for our household.
Today I have started using the gate, which I did not use with my prior two. I started by gating them together, which they didn't mind at all, but the problem was I couldn't tell who had peed when I saw an accident on the floor. Even if they managed to pee on the potty (which they didn't), how would I know which one did it and could be let out? So I then tried gating them one at a time, which they hate. The one inside the gate screams constantly until they pee on the floor. Then I swap them and the other one starts screaming. We have a small house and listening to screaming at the gate 100% of the time feels like punishment for all of us!
So, a few questions:
1. Should I continue with the gate even though they clearly see it as a punishment and the noise level is driving us all crazy?
2. Should I set a limit of time for which they are gated? They can hold their pee for around 3 hours at this point, so the crying can go on for quite a while before they have an accident.
3. If I forgo the gate idea and go back to putting them on the potty (they each have one) when the timer goes off, should I just let them pop up right away?
4. Should I put them in undies so I know who peed? They are unable to pull them down themselves.
5. I have tried to stay home as much as possible for the last 2 weeks, but that's also unsustainable long term (I know your book says it can take 6 weeks +). At what point do I resume normal life even though they have nearly 0 successes?
Thanks for your help.