21 Month Old Potty Training Hangup


I am potty training my 21 mo daughter, I followed N$75 for my son and it worked well, he was pretty well potty trained in 6 weeks, I started him at 23 months. We started my daughter almost 1 month ago on Nov 18th, she initially did well and started having successes voiding in the potty in a couple of days. On Thanksgiving day we had a really bad day, didn't go in the potty once and she had frequent episodes of soft stool (not diarrhea) instead of 1 or 2 formed BMs like usual. She was very upset when she pooped and did not like having it all over her, I followed the N$75 recommendation of directing to the potty and calmly telling her what to do the next time. Since that day she seems to be afraid to poop. She has never had constipation issues and she is now having issues with stool holding, she has gone 3-4 days without having a BM at times, I have had to use Miralax to try and make her go. Every time she has a BM whether it is an accident, on the potty or in a diaper (I still use these for nap and bedtime) she is crying and upset about having to poop. She keeps telling us she has to go to the bathroom and she will sit for a brief moment and then pop up like she is all done even though we know she has to go. I have tried using timers and other things to get her to sit longer and have not had success with that. She is starting to hold her urine as well, just today she did not pee for 5 hours even though she had plenty to drink and sat in the potty 6-7 times, she never emptied her bladder. She cries and screams and arches her back if I try to get her to sit longer. I am worried she is going to get a UTI from holding her urine. Her entire personality seems different, she is very clingy and wants to be held all the time and that is not like her, she was much more carefree and happy before I started this, I think it is because her belly hurts and she is uncomfortable from having to poop. I feel like I have broken my daughter and I am at my wits end. I thought about putting her back in diapers but I don't think that will help because she simply does not want to poop at all anymore, regardless of where she is doing it. I had great success with this potty training method with my son but I am so frustrated with how it is going this time around. Please help.

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