John's Articles

5-Year-Old Play Time

Posted on 6/7/2005

Kidding about 'kid time' Q: I am the mother of a 5-year-old son. Because our neighborhood has very few children, he has attended part-time preschool since he was 3. We are concerned that he is...

Too Many Choices for 4-Year-Old

Posted on 2/8/2005

DON'T GIVE A YOUNG CHILD TOO MANY CHOICES Q: When presented with a choice, our 4-year-old son has started asking, "Well, if you were me, what would you do?" If we don't give him the answer...

15-Year-Old's Socialization and Self-Esteem

Posted on 12/21/2004

Q: My 15-year-old son has low self-esteem and no close friends. I suppose those two things go hand-in-hand. He plays on the school soccer team with daily practices that take place nearly five...

5-Year-Old Should Entertain Self

Posted on 4/13/2004

5-YEAR-OLD SHOULD ENTERTAIN SELF Q: My 5-year-old son is a real people person. Several times a week he cries because he wants someone to play with him. I set aside 30-45 minutes each day to...

7-Year-Old Needs to Develop Self-Discipline

Posted on 3/2/2004

HELP SON DEVELOP SELF-DISCIPLINE Q: Our 7-year-old son has been obsessed with airplanes since he was 2. I do not use the term lightly - anyone who meets him is floored by his knowledge of...

5-Year-Old Friend Issue

Posted on 10/28/2003

LET 5-YEAR-OLD FIND OWN WAY TO DEAL WITH FRIENDS Q: My daughter is 5, going on 6. She is smart, outgoing, verbal, and very sensitive. The other day she told me that her very good friend was not...

5-Year-Old Needs to Occupy Self

Posted on 10/7/2003

SHOW KIDS THEY'RE SMART ENOUGH TO OCCUPY THEMSELVES Q: I'm a single mom who works full-time from home. At noon, I pick up my 5-year-old from her half-day kindergarten program. Unfortunately,...

6-Year-Old Does Not Make Eye Contact with Others

Posted on 9/3/2002

LAY DOWN THE LAW ABOUT 6-YEAR-OLD'S LACK OF EYE CONTACT Q: My daughter is 6, and I am concerned because she rarely makes eye contact when speaking to anyone. Stacy is very bright, listens well,...

8-Year-Old Has No Interest in Making Friends

Posted on 7/30/2002

INTROVERSION ISN'T NECESSARILY A PROBLEM Q: Our 8-year-old daughter has almost no interest in making friends. Her behaviors are not anti-social, but she seems perfectly content to play by...

3-Year-Old Imaginary Playmate

Posted on 10/23/2001

Q: Our 3-year-old daughter has an imaginary playmate named "Slubby." No kidding. How she came up with the name is anyone's guess. We know that imaginary playmates per se are not a problem, but...

7-Year-Old is a Loner

Posted on 6/5/2001

IF SON'S AN INTROVERT,JUST LET HIM BE HIMSELF Q. Our 7-year-old son is turning out to be a "loner" in that he isn't really interested in socializing with other children unless they're at least...

6-Year-Old Boy Prefers Playing with Girls and Dolls

Posted on 1/26/1999

SON WHO PLAYS WITH DOLLS IS NOT THE ONE WITH A PROBLEM Q. Much to our chagrin, our 6-year-old son Robbie has always preferred to play with dolls and other "girl'' things. He also prefers...

3-Year-Old Has Imaginary Playmate

Posted on 12/26/1996

IMAGINARY PLAYMATE IS AN IMAGINARY WORRY Q. Our 3-year-old daughter, Courtney, has developed an imaginary playmate - named Jennifer - and the time she spends in fantasy is beginning to worry...

9-Year-Old Says Bad Things About Himself

Posted on 6/20/1996

DON'T LET CHILD'S SELF-CRITICISM BECOME LIFELONG HABIT Q. Our 9-year-old often will say things like "I'm no good,'' "I'm stupid'' or "I can't do anything right'' when he's upset about...

Shy 7-Year-Old

Posted on 1/11/1996

DOES SHY 7-YEAR-OLD GIRL HAVE LOW SELF-ESTEEM, OR WAS SHE BORN THAT WAY? Q. My 7-year-old has always been extremely shy. Even as an infant, she seemed very sensitive to new situations and new...

Shy 5-Year-Old

Posted on 12/10/1993

SHY CHILDREN SEEM TO BE BORN THAT WAY, STUDIES SHOW Q. My 5-year-old daughter has always been somewhat shy and inhibited. Even as an infant, she seemed extremely sensitive to new situations and...

9-Year-Old Uniterested in Making Friends

Posted on 4/1/1990

IF CHILD LIKES BEING ALONE, DON'T MAKE IT INTO A PROBLEM Q. Our 9-year-old son seems uninterested in making friends. Both at school and in the neighborhood, he seems content to play by...

8-Year-Old Bothering Other Children at School

Posted on 2/11/1990

LET CHILD SOLVE PROBLEM SOMETIMES A good general chooses his battles carefully, knows that retreat can be strategic, and understands that it is sometimes necessary to lose the battle to win...

11-Year-Old No Longer Close to Parents

Posted on 12/25/1988

KEEP THE LINES OPEN, BUT DON'T CALL TOO OFTEN Q. A communication problem has recently developed between us and our 11- year-old son. We used to be very close and affectionate toward one...

Too Much Sympathy For Child Can Create More Problems

Posted on 7/3/1988

TOO MUCH SYMPATHY CAN BE ADDICTING FOR CHILDREN I frequently encourage parents to stop sympathizing with their children's problems and begin empathizing with them instead. They often tell me...

12-Year-Old Hanging Around Wrong Crowd

Posted on 2/28/1988

12-YEAR-OLD HAS TO MAKE OWN MISTAKES TO LEARN Q. Our 12-year-old son has always been well-behaved, responsible and honest. This year, he started junior high school and begin hanging around...

9-Year-Old Complains About Visiting Dad

Posted on 2/1/1987

9-YEAR-OLD MAY WANT MORE TIME WITH HIS FRIENDS Q: I am a divorced, single mother with one child - an active, well- adjusted 9-year-old son. With few exceptions, he spends every weekend,...

3-Year-Old's Imaginary Friend

Posted on 1/25/1987

IMAGINARY FRIEND HELPS CHILD GROW Q: Our 3-year-old daughter has recently invented an imaginary playmate whom she calls "Cindy." She is beginning to spend more and more time playing with Cindy,...

15-Year-Old's Friends

Posted on 6/29/1986

Q. Our 15-year-old son has a lot of friends. Some are kids we approve of, while some are not. He has friends from the "in crowd" and he has friends from the other end of the social spectrum,...

4-Year-Old's Need to be Center of Attention

Posted on 3/23/1986

THERE'S HELP FOR ATTENTION-ADDICT CHILD "My husband and I both work," she said, she being the young mother of a 4-year-old daughter. She was seeking advice concerning her daughter's apparent...

7-Year-Old Girl Feels Left Out

Posted on 9/15/1985

CHILD'S SOCIAL SUCCESS HAS IMPACT UPON SELF-ESTEEM Q. Our 7-year-old is in the second grade in a public school. However, all of the other children her age in our neighborhood attend the...

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