John's Articles
4-Year-Old Boy Misbehaving in Public Places
Posted on 4/14/2009
DON'T LOSE YOUR COOL WITH CHILD - PULL TICKET This column first appeared in 2004. Q. When we take our 4-year-old into a store or restaurant, he begins misbehaving. How do you discipline a...
Read MoreBecause I Said So 3
Posted on 3/24/2009
'BECAUSE I SAID SO' SHOULD SAY IT ALL Last week's column concerned the corrosive 1960s idea that children should be allowed to express their feelings freely, which all too many of today's kids...
Read MoreParents' Firm Stance Brings Fast Results
Posted on 2/17/2009
PARENTS' FIRM STANCE BRINGS FAST RESULTS This column is about a school-age boy who recently learned a valuable lesson in the hardest of ways. At their most recent conference, the boy's...
Read MoreUse Chair of Wisdom for 8-Year-Old and 10-Year-Old Girls
Posted on 1/27/2009
IF 'NO' DOESN'T WORK, GET THE CHAIR OF WISDOM Q. Our 8- and 10-year-old daughters came to me and asked if they could go to the movies with two friends from school that they wanted to "get to...
Read More3-Year-Old Girl Not Wearing Clothes
Posted on 1/20/2009
CALL ON 'THE DOCTOR' TO GET A TODDLER TO WEAR CLOTHES I never cease to be amazed at how easy it is to solve potentially large behavior problems with just a little imagination. Case in point: a...
Read More2-Year-Old Girl Rejecting Dad and Brother
Posted on 1/13/2009
TOT'S BEHAVIOR MAY NOT BE TIED TO MEDICAL ILLS Q: As a result of being born with PHACES syndrome, my 2-year-old daughter has had numerous facial and eye operations. Because of all the stress,...
Read MoreConsequences Do Not Compel Human Beings
Posted on 12/23/2008
CONSEQUENCES DON'T FORCE GOOD BEHAVIOR American parents believe in behavior modification. They believe that the same principles that govern the behavior of a dog also govern human...
Read MoreParents' Hard-Line Stance Will Serve Their Sons Well
Posted on 12/9/2008
PARENTS' HARD-LINE STANCE WILL SERVE THEIR SONS WELL Every so often, and usually just as I am about to resign myself to the folly of postmodern parenting, I run across a story involving parents...
Read More4-Year-Old Boy Hitting Others at Preschool
Posted on 11/18/2008
KIDS WHO HURT OTHERS NEED TO BE STOPPED Q. Our 4-year-old son is hitting others at preschool and has to spend the afternoon in his room for this. In soccer, he's pushing kids down and tripping...
Read More5-Year-Old Girl Being Cruel to Disabled Sister
Posted on 11/18/2008
CRUELTY MEANS TOUGH RESPONSE IS IN ORDER Q. How should we deal with a 5-year-old girl who joins with two other girls at the bus stop in calling her 7-year-old disabled sibling a wacko? Talking...
Read MoreChildren Love to be Ignored
Posted on 11/11/2008
CHILDREN WOULD PREFER TO BE IGNORED Here's something you already know, but don't know you know: Children love to be ignored. Mind you, I'm not talking about neglect. I'm talking about ignored,...
Read More4-Year-Old Boy's Fear of the Dark and Being Left Alone
Posted on 9/23/2008
3 STRIKES AND HE SEES THE LIGHT Another mother shares how she solved her 4-year-old son's fear of the dark and fear of being left alone. He would not go into dark areas of the house, although...
Read More5-Year-Old Girl with Short-Lived Oppositional Defiant Disorder
Posted on 9/23/2008
BY OBEYING, SHE SHOWS HER LOVE Another creative mother reports that immediately after her fifth birthday, her daughter came down with oppositional defiant disorder. One morning, in the midst of...
Read More4-Year-Old Girl Tantrums
Posted on 8/26/2008
TELL 4-YEAR-OLD 'THE DOCTOR' SAYS TANTRUMS MUST END Q: My 4-year-old daughter still has very bad tantrums. When she does this on an outing, I immediately take her home. However, this affects...
Read More6-Year-Old Boys - Moaning, Eye Rolling, Door Slamming, Stomping
Posted on 7/22/2008
TRY '3 STRIKES' WITH REBELLIOUS 6-YEAR-OLDS Q: How should we handle the noises (moaning), the gestures (eye rolling) and the posturing (door slamming, stomping) that ensue so often around here...
Read MoreTeenage Girl Sneaks Out of the House and is Disrespectful
Posted on 4/1/2008
Q. Do you believe in sending children to military school? Our young teenage daughter has twice snuck out of the house in the middle of the night. We are shocked and hurt by her lack of respect for...
Read MoreChildren Not Putting Backpacks in Proper Place
Posted on 3/4/2008
PARENTS SHARE THEIR 3 STORIES OF 'TOUGH LOVE' TURNAROUNDS It's one thing to give advice on the rearing of children, which is what I do through this column. It's quite another to share...
Read More7-Year-Old Boy Talking Back, Arguing, and Lying
Posted on 3/4/2008
PARENTS SHARE THEIR 3 STORIES OF 'TOUGH LOVE' TURNAROUNDS It's one thing to give advice on the rearing of children, which is what I do through this column. It's quite another to share...
Read MoreHigh School Girl's Dropping Grades and Attitude
Posted on 3/4/2008
PARENTS SHARE THEIR 3 STORIES OF 'TOUGH LOVE' TURNAROUNDS It's one thing to give advice on the rearing of children, which is what I do through this column. It's quite another to share...
Read More5-Year-Old Boy Won't Sit Still
Posted on 2/12/2008
5-YEAR-OLD WON'T STOP ANTS-IN-PANTS DANCE Q. Our son just turned 5 and is a really good kid except that he won't sit still. It's driving me nuts. When he talks to you, he is constantly moving....
Read More6-Year-Old Boy Whining, Throwing Tantrums, Running Away from Parents
Posted on 1/22/2008
ACT YOUR AGE, OR IT'S PARADISE LOST Q. We recently kicked our 6-year-old out of the Garden of Eden for constant whining, frequent tantrums, running away in stores, and other behaviors typical...
Read More5-Year-Old Girl Being Mean to Others
Posted on 1/8/2008
TAKE HARD LINE ON CHILD'S CRUELTY Q. My 5-year-old attends pre-kindergarten. Her teacher has called and sent home notes because my daughter and two other girls (who all got along at the...
Read More5-Year-Old Girl Taking Things From Parents Without Permission
Posted on 12/25/2007
IS 5-YEAR-OLD MANIPULATIVE? NOT REALLY - SHE'S JUST CURIOUS EDITOR'S NOTE: John Rosemond is on vacation. This column first appeared in 1985. Of all the myths associated with children and...
Read MoreDiscipline Or Disorder
Posted on 12/11/2007
DISCIPLINE IS REAL CURE FOR WHAT THESE 2 SEE AS A DISORDER Dr. Dimitri Papolos of the Albert Einstein College of Medicine and his wife, Janice, are the recognized authorities on...
Read MoreGrandmother Undermining Parent Authority
Posted on 11/6/2007
Q: My boys are 7 and 2. I have always been an "I tell you once" type of mom, which is how my mother raised me. Ironically, when I try to discipline my kids when my mom is around, she becomes very...
Read More6-Year-Old Boy Throwing Wild Tantrums
Posted on 10/30/2007
ARE BRAIN CHEMICALS TO BLAME FOR 6-YEAR-OLD'S BAD BEHAVIOR? Recently the parents of a 6-year-old boy asked my advice concerning his daily, sometimes violent tantrums which had been ongoing...
Read MoreSibling Nonstop Fighting
Posted on 10/16/2007
Nonstop fighting Q. After school has become a nightmare in my house. My 7-year-old and 5-year-old fight nonstop from the moment I get them from school. They fight in the car all the way...
Read More5-Year-Old Girl Throwing Tantrums
Posted on 8/7/2007
SENSE OF HUMOR IS ESSENTIAL FOR HANDLING REBELLIOUS CHILD Q. Our middle child, 5, is aggressive, loud and disrespectful when anyone dares to deny her or make her do something she doesn't...
Read MoreBe Firm, Patient With Keyed-Up Child
Posted on 7/10/2007
BE FIRM, PATIENT WITH KEYED-UP CHILD Q: My 5-year-old son has an enormous amount of energy and is very excitable. When he gets keyed up, he often acts without thinking. Yesterday he was hugging...
Read MoreTicket Method for Discipline
Posted on 5/1/2007
WANT A WAY TO TRAIN CHILDREN TO BEHAVE? HERE'S THE TICKET Q: John, several other parents have told me about your "ticket" method for dealing with misbehavior, but I wonder if I can get it...
Read MoreCannot Talk an Aggressive Child out of Misbehaving
Posted on 4/17/2007
YADA-YADA DISCIPLINE DOESN'T WORK WITH AGGRESSIVE CHILDREN In a recent article on co-sleeping - the peculiar practice of sleeping with one's child or children to facilitate "bonding" - I made...
Read MoreDiscipline is Leadership
Posted on 3/6/2007
KIDS BALKING? TRY LEADERSHIP I have said many times before, but I cannot say it often enough: Discipline is leadership. It is not punishment-ship, reward-ship, or consequence-ship. It is the...
Read More3-Year-Old in Timeout
Posted on 1/16/2007
Time-out turnaround Q: In looking over the last 25 years of your work, I've discovered that in one place you said a 3-year-old should spend no more than three minutes in time-out, but in...
Read MoreRude, Disrespectful 8-Year-Old Has Bullying Behavior
Posted on 11/14/2006
STOP 8-YEAR-OLD'S BULLYING BEHAVIOR BEFORE IT GETS WORSE Q: My 8-year-old son is a poor sport. He's been asked to leave several sports programs because of rudeness to other players and...
Read More8-Year-Old Motormouth is Loud and Constantly Interrupts
Posted on 9/12/2006
HOW TO CURE A 'MOTORMOUTH' Q: Our 8-year-old son has had some self-centeredness issues that we've been working on since he was a toddler, the latest manifestation of which is excessive, loud...
Read MoreDon't Treat 3-Year-Old Like an Adult
Posted on 7/4/2006
DON'T TREAT PRECOCIOUS 3-YEAR-OLD LIKE AN ADULT Q: Our 3-year-old daughter is very intelligent for her age. I know all parents think their children are smart but several doctors have told us...
Read MoreDiscipline of a Child is not Primarily a Matter of Applying Right Consequences
Posted on 6/27/2006
CONSEQUENCES ARE IMPORTANT, BUT THEY DON'T CHANGE BEHAVIOR Last week's column left the reader in suspense. In keeping with my contrarian nature, I said that the proper discipline of a child is...
Read MoreAdult Leadership is Key to Effective Discipline of Kids
Posted on 6/20/2006
ADULTS' LEADERSHIP IS THE KEY TO EFFECTIVE DISCIPLINE OF KIDS The question journalists most frequently ask me: "Is there one question parents ask most frequently?" Actually, there is, but...
Read MoreParenting is Common-Sensical
Posted on 5/30/2006
YEARS OF PSYCHOBABBLE HAVE CLOUDED OUR COMMON SENSE A few questions recently asked me by several people, including a journalist, and my answers (these have been edited and modified for...
Read MoreBaby Needs Structure, Routine; The Discipline Can Come Later
Posted on 5/2/2006
Q: Is it possible to discipline a child below the age of 2, and if so, how? A: If by "discipline" you mean teaching and enforcing proper behavior, the answer is no. Discipline of that sort is...
Read MoreParenting Myths Concerning Discipline
Posted on 2/21/2006
SOME 'EXPERT' PARENTING TIPS SHOULDN'T BE HELD IN HIGH ESTEEM In the late 1960s, newly emerging parenting experts told parents that high self-esteem would lead to better grades and behavior and...
Read More3-Year-Old Should Pay Attention to Parents
Posted on 1/31/2006
KIDS MUST LEARN THAT THEIR JOB IS TO PAY ATTENTION TO PARENTS By the time a child is 3 years old, he has come to one of two conclusions concerning his parents: Conclusion One: It's my job...
Read More4-Year-Old Agressive toward Younger Sibling
Posted on 1/24/2006
PARENT NEEDS TO ACT DECISIVELY TO END OLDER BROTHER'S ATTACKS Q: My 4-year-old is very aggressive toward his 30-month-old brother. I don't think he's completely to blame for their conflicts,...
Read MoreDiscipline is a Matter of Leadership
Posted on 12/27/2005
DISCIPLINE NEVER HAD IT SO HARD Once upon a time that some of the living remember, the discipline of a child was a relatively simple, straightforward matter that merited neither mental nor...
Read MoreDifficult for Babysitter to Impose Discipline for 3-Year-Old
Posted on 11/15/2005
IT'S HARD FOR SITTER TO IMPOSE DISCIPLINE Q: I recently left my 3-year-old daughter with a 16-year-old baby sitter for the first time. She was fine for an hour or so and then began refusing...
Read MoreEffective Way to Teach Children to Share
Posted on 11/8/2005
Q: What's the most effective way to get young children, ages 2 and 3, to share, and what should I do when not sharing escalates into violence? I work in a day-care center and this is my biggest...
Read More4-Year-Old Being Disruptive at Naptime
Posted on 9/27/2005
STOP NEGOTIATING WITH 'MR. DISRUPTIVE' FORMULA FOR SOLVING NAP-TIME TROUBLE WORKS FOR OTHER PROBLEMS, TOO Q: My sons are 4 and 2. After lunch, I put the youngest to bed for a nap, wait until...
Read MoreChild Forced to Write Letter of Apology to Teacher
Posted on 8/30/2005
CHILD FORCED TO A WRITE LETTER OF APOLOGY - HORRORS! A friend of mine in Virginia happened to be looking in on her fourth-grade son's class one day when he talked back to his teacher. My...
Read MoreDiscipline is Leadership
Posted on 6/14/2005
DISCIPLINE'S GOAL: ADULTS WITH CHARACTER With rare exception, today's parents believe discipline is all about the clever manipulation of reward and punishment. They think this because...
Read More8-Year-Old Soils Pants
Posted on 5/31/2005
BOY 'FORGETS' TO USE TOILET AT SCHOOL Q: My oldest son, soon to be 8, still soils his underwear during school or recess. Some of it is that he is embarrassed to use the toilet in the...
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