John's Articles
Parenting 101: More Chores, Less Electronics
Posted on 12/2/2008
MORE CHORES, LESS TV GOOD FOR KIDS This is the conclusion of Parenting 101, a two-part overview of the fundamentals of parenting. We've established that parenting is about leadership and...
Read MoreParenting 101: Effective Leadership, Marriage First, Boundaries, Say No More Than Yes
Posted on 11/25/2008
THE FIRST RULE OF PARENTING: YOUR MARRIAGE COMES FIRST Welcome to Parenting 101, a two-part introduction to the fundamentals of effective child raising. Upon passing this course, which will...
Read MoreParents Should Not Be Involved With Their Children
Posted on 10/14/2008
LET KIDS LEARN LESSONS VIA TRIAL-AND-ERROR Q: In a recent column you had the audacity to say that parents should not be involved with their children. Can you elaborate and explain? A....
Read MoreA Father Undermining A Mothers Authority
Posted on 1/1/2008
Q: My husband often undermines my authority where the kids are concerned. For example, I believe that my children should eat what ever I put in front of them for supper. I refuse to be a...
Read MoreParent Leadership 101
Posted on 12/18/2007
WANT TO BE A GOOD PARENT? THEN LEAD If in a 50-employee workplace, several employees are misbehaving, the problem lies with the employees. But if half of the employees are misbehaving, the...
Read MoreParent Leadership: Effective Parents Act Like They Know What They Are Doing
Posted on 9/25/2007
A GOOD PARENT IS A DECISIVE PARENT I've said it before, but it cannot be said often enough: The discipline of a child is not accomplished by manipulating reward and punishment. Yes, a child...
Read MoreEffective Parent Leaders
Posted on 5/22/2007
TO RAISE RESPECTFUL CHILDREN, YOU MUST BE A GOOD LEADER The term "parenting," which didn't come into vogue until the late 1960s, obscures the fact that raising a child is no less a leadership...
Read MoreDiscipline is Leadership
Posted on 3/6/2007
KIDS BALKING? TRY LEADERSHIP I have said many times before, but I cannot say it often enough: Discipline is leadership. It is not punishment-ship, reward-ship, or consequence-ship. It is the...
Read More3-Year-Old Sleeping Issue
Posted on 2/20/2007
ALLOWING KIDS TO SLEEP IN YOUR BED CAN LEAD TO A NIGHTMARE Sometimes I wonder if parents understand the concept of robbing Peter to pay Paul - that taking the easy way out of a parenting...
Read More7-Year-Old Sleeping Problems Leads to Marriage Issues
Posted on 1/2/2007
Mom sleeps alone Q: My husband and I are older parents of a 7-year-old. From the very beginning, our son slept with us because my husband couldn't stand to listen to him cry. That has since...
Read MoreAdult Leadership is Key to Effective Discipline of Kids
Posted on 6/20/2006
ADULTS' LEADERSHIP IS THE KEY TO EFFECTIVE DISCIPLINE OF KIDS The question journalists most frequently ask me: "Is there one question parents ask most frequently?" Actually, there is, but...
Read MoreParenting is Common-Sensical
Posted on 5/30/2006
YEARS OF PSYCHOBABBLE HAVE CLOUDED OUR COMMON SENSE A few questions recently asked me by several people, including a journalist, and my answers (these have been edited and modified for...
Read MoreDiscipline is a Matter of Leadership
Posted on 12/27/2005
DISCIPLINE NEVER HAD IT SO HARD Once upon a time that some of the living remember, the discipline of a child was a relatively simple, straightforward matter that merited neither mental nor...
Read MoreDiscipline is Leadership
Posted on 6/14/2005
DISCIPLINE'S GOAL: ADULTS WITH CHARACTER With rare exception, today's parents believe discipline is all about the clever manipulation of reward and punishment. They think this because...
Read MoreThe Three Seasons of Raising Children
Posted on 5/17/2005
In the early 1960s, songwriter/folk singer Pete Seeger wrote "Turn, Turn, Turn," which was later rocked up and made popular by The Byrds. The refrain was taken from The Book of Ecclesiastes 3:1,...
Read MoreParents Should be Leaders, not Pals
Posted on 4/5/2005
PARENTS SHOULD REAR KIDS, NOT BE PALS These days it seems that the more things change in parenting, the more they keep right on changing. For example Today's parents are trying to...
Read MoreIf You Respect a Child, then You Expect a Lot of the Child
Posted on 6/24/2003
MISBEHAVIOR BY STUBBORN CHILDREN REQUIRES STUBBORN LOVE AND DISCIPLINE The following are some things I've been thinking about lately. I thought perhaps you might want to think about them, too....
Read MoreDiscipine is a Matter of Leadership
Posted on 10/30/2001
DISCIPLINE IS MATTER OF RULE, NOT RULES As you might have guessed, parents frequently ask me for advice concerning discipline problems they are having with their children. Almost as...
Read MoreEffective Discipline is Nothing More Than Loving Leadership
Posted on 12/26/2000
PARENTS NEED TO LEARN ART OF LOVING LEADERSHIP Effective discipline - the essence of effective child rearing - is not a set of techniques properly used. It is not spanking or time out or...
Read MoreParents Should Tell Children What To Do, Not Ask.
Posted on 9/12/2000
Today's parents frequently complain that their children don't do as they are told. That simply isn't true. Almost every child will do what he or she is told, most of the time. (I estimate the...
Read MoreDiscipline is the Process of Creating a Disciple, Someone Who Will Follow Your Lead
Posted on 7/13/1999
PARENTS IN COMMAND MAY NOT NEED TO PUNISH Q. In The New York Times, I recently read, "While research has shown that children turn out best in families in which parental demands are enforced,...
Read MoreCan't Try To Have a Good Relationship with Child and Effectively Lead at Same Time
Posted on 4/7/1998
PARENTS MUST LEAD KIDS, NOT JUST RELATE TO THEM Parenting isn't exactly a no-brainer,'' I said to an audience, "but it's close to it.'' Some laughed, and some just looked at me like I was...
Read MoreIt is Everyone's Best Interest That a Child be Well-Behaved
Posted on 12/9/1997
TO GET GOOD BEHAVIOR, PARENTS MUST DEMAND IT A month or so ago, I put this question to an audience of some 500 people in Davidson: "How many of you are certain that your children are as...
Read MoreGood Parenting Requires Sacrifice
Posted on 3/13/1997
I'M A LOVING DISCIPLINARIAN, NOT A NAZI I've noticed that journalists often conceal an inability to think dispassionately about a given subject by engaging in prose that is "cute.'' Such...
Read MoreDiscipline is a Matter of Leadership
Posted on 1/2/1997
DISCIPLINE IS A MATTER OF LEADERSHIP, NOT TECHNIQUE The last 30 years or so have seen us mental health professionals treat discipline as if it is primarily a matter of technology. We've...
Read MoreGive the Kids Their Games Back!
Posted on 11/11/1990
<b>Q. Your opinion of after-school sports is really off-the-wall. The fact that adults are involved in these programs doesn't make them bad. You make it sound as if all the coaches and parents...
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