Who are the most important people (or the most important person) in your family?
True or False: To grow strong psychologically, children need lots of positive attention.
True or False: Proper discipline is all about knowing what consequences to use and when.
True or False: If parents will just be patient and understanding, a child will pass through the “terrible twos” in six to twelve months.
Fill in the blanks in the following sentence: In the typical week, of the time I spent with my family, I spent ____ percent of my time in the role of husband/wife and ____ percent in the role of father/mother.
True or False: Smart phones are okay as long as kids can’t use them more than two hours a day and parents supervise how they’re being used.
True or False: My kids can’t get smart phones until they no longer live with me/us and they can afford them.
True or False: Kids can’t get enough praise.
True or False: Spankings are a form of child abuse.
True or False: Most discipline problems can be handled with a few minutes of time-out.
See How You Did!
Most parents answer “My child!” or “Our kids!” Wrong. Get it straight, YOU are the most important person/people in your family! Without you, when they were young, they wouldn’t have been able to keep themselves alive! You are the foundation of their well-being! Children only know what they want. You know what they need! They cannot socialize themselves, discipline themselves, or support themselves. Because they cannot understand all of the variables involved, they cannot be relied upon to make proper decisions. YOU are the most important person/people in your family, so act like it! Embrace your authority!
False. Attention and supervision are different things. Save when they are young—say, up through age three—children need a good amount of supervision, but they do NOT need lots of attention, which is one-on-one parent/child interaction. Too much attention is as addicting as too much food. Children who get too much attention can be easily identified—they WANT attention all the time! Lots of attention translates, almost invariably, to micromanagement, and micromanagement is never good.
False. Proper discipline is a matter of having the right attitude. Without the right attitude, no disciplinary consequence is going to work for long. If you want to know what the right attitude looks like and sounds like, JOIN THIS WEBSITE! This website is all about the right attitude.
False. The so-called “terrible twos” need to be nipped in the bud lest the child in question be a “terrible” all the way through adolescence. To learn how to nip the “terribles” in the bud, read Making the “Terrible” Twos Terrific! If you want to learn how to recover from NOT nipping the terribles in the bud on time, read The Well-Behaved Child: Discipline that REALLY Works! Oh, and JOIN THIS WEBSITE!
If your child is three or older, and your husband/wife percent is lower than 70 percent, you’re setting some really bad precedents and accumulating some really big emotional debt. Below 50 percent means you definitely have a child-centered family which means your marriage is starving for attention. It’s very easy, especially in these days and times, to get swallowed up in parenting matters. Interesting enough, it’s impossible to get on the same parenting page if you are not primarily husband and wife.
False. At most—the very, very most, in fact—children should not be allowed ANY smart phone use except Friday afternoon through Sunday bedtime. Smart phones are strongly associated with depressed school achievement, depression, and anxiety about all sorts of things. Once that snowball is rolling downhill, it’s very difficult to stop.
True. Have the backbone to be unpopular! You want your teen to have that backbone, don’t you? Show him/her the way!
False. Research finds that as with most things that are initially good, praise has a point of diminishing returns. Kids who are overpraised tend to underperform in school, for one thing. To be effective and stay effective, praise should be used conservatively and be matter-of-fact.
False. That’s absurd. Spankings CAN be used abusively, but so can any form of discipline. Spankings, per se, are neither required nor criminal. With some kids, they work; with others, they don’t. In some situations with some children, a spanking is the most effective disciplinary action. To learn how to use spankings effectively, read To Spank or Not to Spank by the Parent Guru.
False. Time-out is the LEAST effective disciplinary consequence ever invented by mental health professionals, whose inventions have caused more problems than they have solved. Time-out “works” with kids who are already well-behaved. They are worthless in the face of BIG behavior problems that have been around for some time. To learn about discipline strategies that REALLY work, read, The Well-Behaved Child: Discipline that REALLY Works! by the Doctor of Parenting Guruness.