3 yo tantrums and defiance

Question

My 3-½ year old son has thrown temper tantrums since the moment he could scream and hit something. We have placed him in his room each time and let him out when he is completely calm with no attention given until that point. The result is that he calms down quickly (often before he even gets to his room), but the initial outburst has increased in intensity. He screams, hits walls, has hit me a couple of times and now he has started standing in front of his baby sister's door and screaming to wake her up. I have now stripped his room of everything except his bed, clothes, two balls, one book and the blanket & stuffed animal that he sleeps with. He was sent to his room for the remainder of the day except for meals and the potty. What do I do from here? What do I do about disobedience or tantrums that occur at the few times he is out of his room (or I go in to give instructions)? What do I do about church or play dates that are for my benefit, but he has fun also?

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