21 year old lacks responsibility


I am extremely frustrated with my 21 year old son that is living at home and will be getting married in 7 months. In many ways, he has been and continues to be a good kid. However, he has been and continues to be lacking in fulfilling responsibilities. We have struggled for years to get him to be a productive member of the family. Because he refused to do chores, I decided about a year ago to charge him a small amount of rent each month. It has been like pulling teeth to get him to pay rent and has borrowed money from another one of our children that he has not paid back. When asked about it, he gives vague answers and acts like he will pay them and me, but then doesn't do it. I am currently paying his car insurance and phone and have thought about discontinuing them. To further complicate it, he is interested in working with me on my home business. He has helped me some and does a good job. However, I am afraid that I can not remove myself from the issues of not being responsible at home when being his "boss" at work. In some ways, I feel that it is unwise to try to reform him now (I wish that we would have been more effective when he was younger). He seems to have plenty of money to buy "toys" and waste time on video games, but not enough time and money to help the family. Should I try a last ditch effort to make him grow up or let his wife do it? LOL! Please help!

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