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7 yo defiance and disrespect, parents disagree about discipline

Question

My parenting style has been inconsistent over the years, and now I'm paying for it. I have a 7 year-old son who is often disrespectful and defiant. I have tried your advice of sending him to his room, but he won't go. I have physically escorted him at times, and then I have to stand outside the room and hold the door shut, some times for a 1/2 hour before he finally gives up. To make matters worse, my husband works from home, and doesn't support the idea of sending a child to his room, especially one who fights so hard not to be there. So he will often intervene and "have a talk" with our son. Any other suggestions?

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