4 yr old talks back

Question

My husband and I are having a hard time with our 4 year old son. For the past few months, he has become increasingly disrespectful (talks back to us and other adults in his life) and needs to be told multiple times to do things we ask him to do. We both are getting very frustrated and I see my son getting very angry at times and telling us that he doesn't like us and that we're mean to him. Sometimes we are impatient with him, especially when he doesn't listen to what we've told him to do/not to do. We also have an 11 week old baby at home which has added to the stress in our household right now (mom not getting enough sleep, dad taking on more responsibility, dividing attention between the two kids, etc.). I'm not sure how to handle his disrespectful tone/words. Sometimes I ignore it if he's just grumbling to himself and other times I send him to his room for 10-15 min. if he says something like "you're stupid mom." Today, I was very frustrated when I came home from work (just went back after maternity leave) and he was home with the sitter. He immediately became angry when he saw me and told me to go back to work, he didn't want me there, etc. (side note, he's said these things in the past and I usually just chalk it up to the fact that this sitter spoils him on the day she watches him and he knows I won't be spoiling him when I get home). But today it really bothered me and I probably overreacted. I told him I was very hurt by the things he said and that I didn't like it. We both ended up in tears. I'm just so hurt and frustrated right now. I used to have a sweet little boy that seems to be increasingly angry and disrespectful all the time! Not sure what to do anymore.

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