13 yo tyrant and family issues, redux


Thank you for your quick response. I feel I have more guilt than fear. My daughters’ bio-father wasn’t in her life much until about a year ago and now its fun time dad every other weekend and has her up and down with his lying.
When I remarried my husband (when she was 5) he unfortunately didn’t handle the situation with love. He felt that by ignoring her, not allowing her into his office (having her stand outside the door) or by not involving her while he played with the other kids, she would somehow correct her behavior and become a respectful little girl. Well of course that didn’t happen, it only caused more problems.
With many parenting classes, books and counseling sessions my husband finally realized it was hurting more than helping. They don’t have much of a relationship and I’m not sure if they ever will. He has apologized to her and me for his actions, but at times I still feel angry for all the hurt and tears he caused and angry at myself for not handling her disrespectful behavior sooner.
It breaks my heart every time I think of what she has had to endure with her bio-dad, step-dad and even myself for not being a consistent parent. So therefore I can’t bring myself to clear out her room (yet) I know I deserve respect and little by little my confidence in parenting is building, but how can I let the past go, so I can stop feeling guilty and start being the parent she needs me to be? Thank you so much...

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