4 yo defiant, aggressive at preschool

Question

My 4 year old boy has been having problems with defiant behavior at school for about 6 months. He often refuses to do what he is told by the teacher. Recently, he has had two episodes of aggressive behavior towards towards two well-behaved girls during snack time at the table. One incident, he did not like that the girl said, " I am the boss" and he stabbed her with a plastic fork. The other incident, "the girl wanted her seat back" and he clawed her. He is very aware that these behaviors are not okay. Any suggestions?

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