"How do you get a child to do what he's told the first time he's told? Don't ever repeat yourself. "

16 yo disrespectful after visits with dad

Question

My 16 year old daughter came home from weekend visitation with her father (diagnosed sociopath). As usual, upon return she is very cool and distant. When I went to the living room to visit with her, she told me that I make her anxious. I am quite certain that once again she is parroting something he told her about me.

This is just the latest in the saga; she consistently returns from her time with him and is disrespectful and defiant. How can I respond? I cannot badmouth him, but if I do not address this at all, my passivity appears to her that he is right about the many lies he tells her about me. He is brainwashing her. So often what she tells me are exact repetitions of words and phrases he commonly uses.

I would appreciate any concrete advice on how to respond to this alienating behavior. It is so devastating to watch this loving child being brainwashed by such a sick person.

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