almost 3 year old-hard to know what exactly I can start to enforce


My 3 year old (3 as of next week) is torturing us. I've read Parenting By the Book, Terrific Two's, and have Well Behaved Child on the way.
He listens to nothing, throws fits about everthing. Our biggest problem (I have searched the Q&A's for this and haven't found so far) is he seems clueless about the punishments.
Send him to his room, he just comes out or screams while in there (waking up his baby sister constantly if we confine him to his room).
We'll take away story time before bed as a punishment but he doesn't even seem to care and just does the same bad stuff the next day.
We'll stick him in a pack n play in the living room when everyone else is going about their business and he'll just scream and climb out.
If I do the ticket system he'll lose all tickets in 10 minutes while including alot of screaming, tantrums and things that seem to need even more punishment.
He just seems to be at this age where we don't feel like he understands what he did earlier in the day or cares much at what we are telling him about why he's getting punished.
Josh says to put a 3 year old in their room for the rest of the day if they've disobeyed. My son would tear apart his room, throw up (no joke), cry for hours and hours, pull the blinds down. I guarantee you it would be a mess.
I'm at a loss and many days wonder why I ever became a parent.

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