Question
We have been dealing for three years now with a completlely out of control teenager. The issues have included running away (multiple times), drugs, sexual activity with several different partners, stealing from us, COMPULSIVE lying, etc. We have 5 young children below her and she takes up the majority of our parenting time. We live in a state where our daughter would have to sign herself into a treatment facility. We can not force her to go. We also can't afford to put her in one of the several "boot camp" type places. A dear friend has urged us to take a hard line approach-basically removing any and all connection to the outside world. She would have no phone/inernet privileges and would never be allowed outside of our supervision. Of course we would provide her with all the basics-food, clothing, shelter, education, and plenty of love. But, she would have no social life apart from what we all do together as a family. This friend advocates continuing this approach all the way until our daughter is 18 years old. This time period (2 years) would be solely for the purpose of her "getting well" with regular visits to the therapist. The only goal for the next two years is to keep her safe, get her well, and try to help her prepare for adulthood by removing all other distractions from her life. This approach seems so drastic, yet I know the minute she begins regaining any amount of freedom, she does nothing but abuse it every time. Do you think this is a realistic approach? My marriage and family life is suffering from this huge struggle. Any advice you could offer would be greatly appreciated. Thank you so much for your assistance.
