I have two grown children each with two children. Daughter had problem with her 9-yr-old responding with a very disrespectful tone of voice. She immediately dealt with her - and informed her she would miss annual church party next day (inflatibles, water rides) as a consequence. (Child had been waiting two years for this - they were on vacation when event occured last year.) Later, after wailing had stopped, she went down to room and told her daughter to come up with an explanation for why she was "sitting the party out" when her brother wasn't, since people would be sure to ask. Told her not to lie, but she didn't have to explain details, either. I was in total agreement w/daughter - thought she handled it perfectly. You don't parent from your comfort zone. When I related story to my son, he thought punishment was too harsh. I would like to quote an expert to him - and will, if I receive an answer. thanks.