11 YO: Micromanaging


Our daughter (11) is in the 5th grade. We have been having a lot of problems in the last month with her. I have pulled off of her homework and test reviews durng the last year in preparation of middle school. Also, we have 2 younger children: 8 and 4. She is a very bright child. Capable of making straight A's. My issue's are 1) she occassionally does not do her homework and she has not been studying for her tests. Points are deducted for not doing the homework (great!), although her test scores have been very good in the instances where she did not study. We are concerned about her developing poor study habits, as it will not always be this "easy" for her. 2) She constantly does her own "thing". Although she is grounded for lying about studying for a test (lying is not tolerated), I found her sneaking into our room watching TV. The next day, I told her she bought herself the luxury of going to bed an hour earlier. I checked on her twenty minutes after the curfew and she was reading books in her room, turning the lamp off once she heard me coming. I took the light bulb out of her bed lamp. The little instances go on and on. The defiance and disobedience are driving me nuts! They are all subtle annoyances but amount to a greater issue. I know we need to curb it now before she is a full blown teenager. She has been grounded to her room for 3 days now. We have done so for up to a week in prior years yet it doesn't seem to make a difference to her. The radio and books have been removed. Only her school books enter during the day.

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