"There are no argumentative children; only adults who argue with children."

Three Tween/Teen Girls and One Authoritarian Dad

Question

We have three girls ages 11, 14 and 16. How do I convince my husband that discipline can be carried out without yelling, cussing and calling his daughters names to try to get them to behave. He cannot leave his emotions and need for praise out of a disciplinary situation. He praises the "traditional parent" that you you talk about and we have seen you speak in person, but when his emotions take over, it all goes out the window. For instance, Easter Sunday I was travelling back in town and he was home with our daughters, all was good they planned to go to church and to his parents for lunch. He asked our 14 year old to take the dog out and she said she needed to do her hair, so basically talked back and tried to get out of it. He then got upset called them all spoiled/bratty kids.He proceeded to tell the children they "trash his house" every day, don't keep their rooms clean(which is not always done on a daily basis), do not take care of dog without complaining, do not ask what they can help with, they don't say "thank you" enough to their dad for how hard he works,etc. After cussing and yelling at them all the way to and from church(to which he did not even go) he proceeds to take cell phones(no problem there) and takes their bedroom doors off(was planning to for 14yr old anyway because she consistently leaves clothes on floor) and does not let them go to grandmas with him for Easter. I do not have a problem with taking doors off or taking cell phones, but can't punishment occur without drama, cussing and yelling. When does it become verbal abuse? By the way, the girls are all good girls and students, just lacking in keeping rooms spotless and doing chores without asking. Thank you for considering my question.

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