Question
My daughter, 13, is increasingly sensitive when she is upset with friends or school work and directs it at me. She is a bright girl, an honor student, and generally makes good choices. She is completely responsible for homework, with consequences for late or forgotten homework, and not studying for tests. She goes to tutoring as needed. Her grades are faltering a bit, but not to the point where there is concern. I tell her it's not about making the grades that it's about learning and being responsible. If she makes a B or a C and did her best, there is no penalty. But if she chooses only to study at school and turn in her homework late there is a consequence. She justifies her choices and doesn't accept responsibility.The best way to deal with her is to make her responsible with natural consequences and step out of the way. I appreciate her independence and try to foster it, but she does not admit to needing help and gets easily frustrated when I try to correct her. When we calmly explain, she interrupts and does not listen to instruction. When I tell her not to do something or send her to her room, it takes several requests. We have to "up the ante" with regard to discipline to get compliance. I have tried walking away when she acts this way, and it is exhausting because of her strong will. How should we address her defiance and emotional outbursts?