Step mom wants to be called "Mom"

Question

I am a "bonus Mom" (step mother) to 3 children. They were 3, 6 and 8 when my husband and I married. They are now 7, 10 and almost 12. Over the past three years the two youngest have called me "Mom" or "Mommy" from time to time and the oldest chastises them behind closed doors admonishing them that I am not their mother. We have 50/50 custody and I AM a mother when they are home. I know they are being grilled and attempts are obvious by the "X" to alienate my children from me. We are a family in every sense. My questions: I want my older daughter to stop guilting my other two children regarding how they address me. I would also like her to stop interceding in my parenting of the other two. I would also like to stop having conversations about it with them as well as my husband (who says it's "confusing to call two people 'mom'"). I am typically called "Kiki" which I've allowed to remain the status quo. I AM Mom and do all things mothers do. How do I get my props? This "step" stuff is pure nonsensical garbage!!!

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