children and behavior modification versus consequences

Question

I am wondering about behavior modification/discipline that you believe does help. I've read several of your articles lamenting that the use of consequences as usually ineffective. I agree that in my own case the aeffect is minor and doesn't really prevent repeat offenses. I just would like to know what you mean when you say ' use the proper consequence '? We are guilty of taking away tech time( the most important thing to my kids, so seemingly most effective), dessert, play dates, etc. I don't know what else to do? If the behaviour is being very disrespectful to me or my husband, for example, or fighting with a sibling, if someoneor something gets hurt, both of these examples have to be dealt with right away. What is your advice as to What is effect is?

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