adopting older child


(I appreciate the question you already answered)
Our children are 13 and 16. We began following your advice in your books when our eldest (female) was 5. I lapped it up and met you once - you were my 'parenting hero'. Very few parents used the same methods as us but it was great.
Then our lives were turned upside down. Our daughter was sexually assaulted over and over at school by another child. It's been 10 years now, we've done minor counseling for her because I (mom) have walked her through it all, listened, talked,'s finally now we can see her ashes turned into beauty and we thank God for that. In that though, I lost part of my 'Rosemond Path' but mostly kept to it as much as I could in the situation. We, however, went though lots of counseling just to be able to tell someone bc these things are things you 'aren't allowed to talk about'.
Onto my question: our hearts are for hurting children. Has been since before this happened but more pronounced now. We are now considering/pursuing adopting an older child from foster care (ages perhaps 7-13, female).
I know how to handle the pain a child will be going through with God's guidance. What I don't know is this - what books of yours (I have almost all except the brand new ones) can I implement with an older child adoption - is it different? Oh, and since our 13 year old is male, should we not consider a 13 year old girl or should we limit the age to 11?
We are prayerfully considering everything and praying for wisdom - sometimes God leads you back to things I think...which is why I thought of you and your sound advice that I lost for a while. Thanks again...for more than you know.
Heck, I'd fly to NC to do this one-on-one but I read it's locals only :)

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