Question
Our oldest son (of 4 children) is 17 years old. He is, to all people outside of our home, the ideal child. He is a straight "A "student, involved in the community, and polite to his friends, other parents and teachers. At home, it is a different story. He speaks "down" to me and my husband. He doesn't do his chores without being nagged to death, and when he does do them, they are not completed properly. When asked to help with other things around the house, like shoveling snow, he whines, complains and finds ways to get out of it. He refuses to get a job, stating it will impact his grades. When something goes awry in his life, it's always someone else's fault, and he feels like he's been "wronged". He rarely recognizes his role in arguments and disagreements with his siblings, blaming them for starting the altercation. We are at our wits end, since taking away privileges seems to only have a temporary impact on changing his behavior. Last night, things "came to a head" again, and this time we took away his driving privileges. But my husband and I don't have any real hope that this will make things better. Do you have any advice on what we should be doing differently with him?