Question
Our nineteen year old son is in his second semester of a local community college. Having made good grades in high school he is continuing to do the same in college. The problem is a habit of leaving home late. With only a two mile drive he apparently thinks if he leaves at eight he can get there at an acceptable time even though class begins at eight. Nothing new because he did the same while in high school. My fears are if this is not corrected it will carry over into the future work place where the tolerance he's gotten in school will not be tolerated. Any advise or am I picking a fight?
Answer
You are right that if your son does not come to realize the importance of punctuality it may eventually cost him lower grades or the loss of a job. However this a life lesson he will have to learn for himself and until it's a problem to him (not you) I doubt that this behavior will change.
It's best not to bring it up because most of us are reluctant to change, especially when told to do so. It will only result in your son deliberately being late to further frustrate you! I too was nineteen once many moons ago, but I was also fortunate to have parents wise enough to allow me to figure these things out for myself. My question to you would be how is your son now contributing to the family? Or in other words is he a consumer or a producer? My guess is that like many post high school young adults living at home he expects more than he respects. I speak from experience and feel stronglythat the sooner he begins to man up the better for him and more importantly for you.
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David Martin
martind@penntrafford.org
