Refining the Ticket System


John, you've answered my questions about my twin 4 yo (almost 5) boys. Recently, it was "4 year old "high misbehaver"" about misbehavior and a tantrum at gymnastics. We got through that as suggested and have been doing the ticket system with both boys since.

Since the week in his room after the gymnastics incident, we are doing the ticket system for my 4yo (will be 5 in 1 month) for tantrums. He has 3 tickets and continues to throw ridiculous tantrums, but gets to maybe 2 in a day or the third is at bedtime. I thought about cutting the tickets down to 2, but then thought maybe he should just get 3 or 5 or something for a week and once he loses them all, he's in his room for a week instead of just a day. Any advice on that? The other issue is that he whines about everything and generally disobeys. He is such a brat.

I recognized a few of my own behaviors that I'm stopping. I am not carrying on conversations with him about my instructions. I tell him what to do and walk away. If he comes and questions me or asks why or argues, I simply say "because I said so." He whines, he complains, he argues anyway. With cleaning up his toys, he now just won't. When he started not cleaning up, I was cleaning them up myself and taking them away. I recently started telling him to clean up, starting the timer, and told him if it's not complete when the timer buzzes, they will be gone.

I just feel like this all runs together, but I only have tantrums on his ticket list. What should I do?

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