My 5.5 year old daughter is praised for her behavior by all caregivers outside the home. At home, when I give her a command like “go brush your hair,” she will dawdle, say “not yet” or “no” or whine and run away. When I tell her “If you do not brush your hair now, there will be no play dates after school” or say “ok, you don’t have to brush your hair, but there will be no play dates after school,” she falls to pieces saying “I was about to do it!” Or “but I wanted YOU to do it!” Or “I just wanted to do it in the car, I was trying to tell you!” She will physically cling to me and sob, which is equally exasperating.
It’s manipulative and confuses me where to draw the line. Is this a situation where I should really just “say it once” and ignore her backpedaling?