12 Year-Old Boy Won’t Accept “No”

Question

We implemented a plan to help our 12 year old son learn the importance of keeping his room clean: He must keep it clean for ten days in order to order anything online, get a ride, etc. He did it for five days then stopped when he lost a school function for grades. He refuses to start it again. He also is begging over and over to download a song, but we continue to say no.

In retaliation, we think, he has now resorted to leaving books out in the study. He actually hides them under a pillow but leaves a corner out for us to see. It's not even the books he reads so he obviously goes out of his way to do it. Another thing we have noticed is that he keeps running the same load of laundry through and leaving it. We believe he is trying to get us to react by having to ask him to remove it. He seems to be looking for situations where he can say "I'll do x if you let me have y". Any suggestions are great to get him back on track without the power struggle?

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