Question
Hi, my daughter just turned 16 and she likes to post selfies on her social media. They're not immodest or inappropriate or anything like that, it just looks ridiculous and self absorbed and she does ridiculous poses like kicking her back leg up or doimg something with her hands. Nobody posts all these pictures of themselves! I need a good way or the right thing to say to her to discourage her from this. I don't want to sound harsh but it's just a little over the top already. Thanks.
Answer
Unfortunately, many people post all sorts of pictures of themselves. Your question tells me you may have handed your daughter the world (a smartphone) without clear expectations, boundaries and consequences. Absent these restrictions, your daughter’s worldview is being shaped by everyone except her parents. She has already tasted the thrill of self-absorption and feelings of acceptance she is seeking with an accumulation of likes. If you only want to discourage your daughter, then you could preach to her about any number of consequences related to posting identifiable material on the internet. She will then have the choice to continue. More concerning is your apologetic thought that you do not want to sound harsh. As a parent, I invite you to inform your daughter of your family values and how she can integrate them in every area of her life, including her presentation on social media. The fact that she has control of her internet presence may have to be modified, at your discretion. There are no magic words that will automatically stop your daughter. Have confidence in your opinion that her use of social media exceeds the family expectations.
Gretchen Slover
drgretchenslover.com
