Aggressive 4-Year-Old Boy

Question

My 4 yr old is aggressive, the gentle parenting we have been sold isn't working for this. I have just read your work and as of yestersday have been confining my son to his room if he hits/is aggressive to anyone in our family, or at preschool, for the rest of the day until dinner time. He goes to bed at 7pm and we have dinner at 5pm. Should I make him go back to his room between dinner and bedtime? We have taken everything out of his room except essentials, should we let him have a toy or two?

At preschool they don't punish my son for hitting. In fact, if he only hits "a few times" they praise him for a great day because he was calm for most of it. I believe this is giving my son a dangerous message. Any thoughts on how to address that with the preschool teachers? My son and his younger brother (2yrs) love rough play, but my son ends up taking it too far too often. Should I ban it until I have sorted the aggression? I am finding it hard to decide what's appropriate rough play.

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