Question
"My Perspective" I'm a stepfather to 2 girls ages 15 & 12. Also, I have a 13 year old daughter of my own. We have all lived together for 4 years. Before combining families I had fears of being a father to the step daughters. Now, I'm having a real difficult time psychologically with the family environment when the "kids" including my daughter do things that bother me which include: Bad grades in school, walking hard on the floor (hear the footsteps throughout the house), starting the shower but not actually getting in for 3-5 minutes, eating family serving of food after school, leaving Milk and other food out for hours when they are home by themselves, not picking up after themselves and they leave us to do it, wanting to actually play in the attic in the winter, and the list goes on. Obviously, I try to hold the kids accountable but depending on my mood, sometimes I let things go because I don't want to always be the one who is always mad but I'm in their mind already. I don't think I'm asking much of teenagers to take care of their own responsibilities, but a ping on the phone and their attention is gone. I'm told by my fiancée that is what teenagers do (DUMB STUFF) and my perspective that they should know what to do is not accurate. Do I need to change my perspective of my teenagers and not get upset over DUMB stuff? Does my parent view need fixing? I'm not sure how much more I can take. I need or we need counseling but not sure where to start. Any help / thoughts would be greatly appreciated.
