Who Are You? (And what have you done with our daughter?)


Since June 2020, my daughter (who is now 14) has become someone I no longer recognize. When school was closed due to COVID-19, I made the terrible choice and let her have her phone 24/7, which has caused anxiety, many friend group changes, fallen grades, lack of interest in sports she loved, disrespect for parents and herself. She has no regard for authority, has loud sometimes destructive tantrums when not given what she wants. Yells and swears at me. Smokes pot and vapes, steals and lies. As I write this, she’s extremely angry due to me saying no to her request. Now, she cannot stand to look at my face and if I don’t leave the family room for 30min so she can calm down, she will hurt me (of which she said she doesn’t want to hurt me) because at that point “she will be so angry she’ll black out and not remember her behavior.” She said I should do as she requests because it’s what she needs. I suggested she go to her room and calm down. To which she replied, “ if I go to my room I will destroy it and get into more trouble. I need to watch this show to calm down.” I went to my room to protect myself and write to you for guidance.

I know her behavior is unacceptable and recognize my part in lack of proper discipline. I want to handle this correctly, safely. Please advise.

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