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Common Questions About Toilet Training


Hi. I've read and reread Rosemond's books on toilet training. Here are my questions after having read those in relation to daytraining my 21-month-old:

1) I use bell and gate which work, but he won't sit on potty. Since I'm to leave him to it for at least five minutes by which time he pees on floor, how can he learn to sit, and especially connect peeing while sitting?

2) My 21-month old drinks 8oz each at 7:30am, 11am, and 3pm. He tends to drink it all at once. Then he pees every 15-30 mins for the next two hours. Suggestions?

3) Do I wait until daytime consistent dryness to not use diaper at night for my 21-mth-old ? OR is Dr. Rosemond saying to just expect bedwetting/crapping at night from beginning of day training for up to 6 months after. Should I wait to go without a night diaper until he's at least 2 yrs old or 2.5 yrs?

Thank you.


Congratulations on starting the potty training and reading John's book(s).

The truth is we can't make our children do anything as they have a mind and will of their own, all we can do is lead and encourage.

1- So as to your first question about sitting on the potty. When you take him to the bathroom TELL him to sit on the potty. Don't ask, tell him in your Alpha speech. You can even help him to sit as long as it doesn't require a battle. Then put up the gate, turn around and leave saying "call me when you have done a pee" (or something along those lines). Do not hover or stay. If when you come back he has peed on the floor then without a fuss just tell him that the pee goes in the potty and you know he'll do better next time, then make him help you clean it up. (Something John recommends that may help is to let your child see you and other members of the household using the bathroom and sitting to pee so he will copy that behavior- even the males- this is only temporary.)

2- As to your second question, here is where the bell comes in handy. If you know that after he drinks he is going to go every 15-30 minutes for the next 2 hours, then set the timer for 20 mins and repeat above every time the bell goes off for the duration of that time. Eventually he will learn the feeling or sensation of having to go and relate that to the potty and learn to go on his own. Once he does you can eliminate the bell.

The answer to #3 is yes to the first part. Keep using diapers at night for a while. Night dryness usually comes 3-6 months after reaching daytime dryness. Then every few weeks try a night or two without them and see if he remains dry.

Remember the 5 C's of toilet training: Cool, calm, collected, confident and stay committed! Expect accidents, and remember they are perfectly normal! Good luck and stay the course, dryer days are up ahead. We're all cheering for you and your little one!

Carmen Korsten
Certified Leadership Parenting Coach

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