Question
Not a question today but a praise report!
Today at the park, in alpha speech, I told my son we would be leaving in 5 minutes. When the 5 minutes were up, I said “we are leaving”, my son politely said “ok mum”, turned to his friends, smiled, waved and said “I have to go now, bye”.
My friend was gobsmacked and said how rare it was to witness.
When we got home I asked my son why he is becoming so good at listening to me and gave him the example of our park visit today and he said “because there are consequences when I do not listen, and I respect you”.
I was so amazed, proud and thankful to John Rosemond and those at the Parent Guru. It encouraged me that I am slowly moving in the right direction, whilst reaffirming why I am parenting countercultural!
I was reminded of Johns quote along the lines of “a well behaved child is a happy child”. And John is so right. Actually, a well behaved child makes for a happy mum and child. If I had negotiated, bribed or shouted it would have made for an unhappy child and an unhappy mum. I would have felt humiliated in front of others, defeated and fearful of my sons future (as has been the case in the past/and sometimes still “if he can’t obey something so simple as this, how will he stay safe and obey God, the law, hold down a job one day) as well as feeling resentment and revenge towards him if I am totally honest, and my son would have learnt how to further manipulate and rule the show, probably felt humiliated, stupid, unstable and unnurtured.
I’m sorry, I had to share this win here as I do not know any other parents trying to parent countercultural so this journey feels incredibly lonely, with nobody to share the wins or what I am learning with.
I’m very thankful to the Parent Guru and humbled as I remember life hasn’t always been this way and we still have a way to go, but my confidence has sky rocketed slowly seeing the first fruits. I’m sure I’ll be back soon with many more questions and defeats, but for now, all is good!
