"There are no argumentative children; only adults who argue with children."

5th Grader Returning to Bad Habits

Question

My son is in the 5th grade and hasn’t been completing any of his school work. We grounded him for a month. We took away everything away besides a few outfits and he was to stay in his room except to come out for dinner and bathroom breaks. We had a meeting with his teacher a month later and he had been completing all of his work so he was slowly earning his things back. He hasn’t earned everything back yet and I just got another message from his teacher that he’s doing the same thing again with not turning in his work. What should we do?

Answer

Hi and thanks for the question. You are on the right track - keep up the good work. I would sit him down and calmly explain that he is not doing what is expected so we have to go back to square one. Then reiterate the expectations and how he can earn back his privileges.

Today's parents are looking for a strategy that will work 100 percent of the time, which is not going to happen. Consequently, they abandon a strategy that is working because the child tests to see if they can get the parent to change techniques. I believe if you change you will send the message to your child that if he obeys for a month then misbehaves his parents will change strategy. This will totally undermine your authority in his eyes. The key to success is how you present this to your child. You need to be calm, matter of fact, firm and in as few words as possible. When you finish ask him if there is anything he doesn't understand clearly. If he has no questions tell him it starts right now and I hope you fix this because we enjoy your company but your character is more important than anything. I hope this helps.

You got this!!!!

Sincerely,
Tim Bonzagni
Certified Rosemond Parent Coach
parentcoach101.com@gmail.com
401 742 3948

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