"A child without rules is like a fish out of water. "

Question

My grandson was adopted from an orphanage in India when he was 3 years old. My daughter and son-in-law have had him for 2 years as he will be 5 in June. This boy is and has been an unbelievingly compliant child since day one. Never says no, always does whatever they tell him to do, such as time for bed, nap, etc. If they say no you cant have something or do something right now he says "okay". It is really remarkable. However, this is so bizarre. He will poop or pee his pants but only when he is around my daughter, his mother! He never does it at school, or at anybody else's house, or even when he is with his dad! When she goes to try to clean him up, he screams like she is trying to hurt him! They have tried everything! Even making him clean up his own mess. My daughter says he acts like he doesn't like her. She is a very loving mother, but is having very sad thoughts about not liking her own son. To the point now they always wanted to go back and get a little girl from India but now they don't want to. The guilt my daughter feels is horrible. He acts like he only likes his dad. They think possibly he is acting out of some trauma that may have occurred but it is impossible to ever know. Any thoughts? They are very good about talking to him very lovingly and getting him to express how he is feeling. The father has even started telling him to treat his mother the same way he treats his daddy. He always says "okay" he understands but does it anyway. Thank you for your time. Any advice would be so appreciated!

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