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Getting Tough With 8-Year Olds Behaviors

Question

Me again! I feel like I’m asking weekly questions during this season of parenting. I’ve written about my sneaky 8-year old and I just need some clarification. I’ve read The Well-Behaved Child and I understand the strategies for the most part, but need some help tailoring them to my child’s problem. The biggest problem is the lying/sneaking. The second biggest is failure to follow directions the first time she’s told. For a strike chart, would 3 strikes be too many for something like lying/sneaking? We tend to be of the mindset that one lie is enough to scrap the whole day, but I don’t want to be too militant. I just have a hard time letting a lie go by unpunished. Also, would a month-long or a 2-week chart be best for her age? And would lying and failure to obey the first time be too much to work on at one time? Lastly, do you do a garden kick with this chart and let her get her toys back after a full chart with no restarts or is that a totally separate approach? I’m just overwhelmed with the options and want this consequence system to be memorable and effective for her but not demoralizing or unattainable.

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