"As children grow older, parents must give them greater freedom, including greater freedom to make mistakes. "

Dealing with 6-Year-Old's Backtalk and Lies

Question

My husband and I are taking custody of a six year old little boy (no relation to us) who has been abandoned by his meth addicted mother, and his father whom he's never met is in prison for involuntary manslaughter. Having said that, we've had him for about two months. He loves us, but is insecure about us kicking him out because he's been in nine different places. We assure him on a regular basis that we love him no matter what and this is the last place he will have to go and he's come to trust us. He is beautiful sweet boy with whom we have done very well. He loves attending church and going to Bible class, we conquered the picky eating thing. He complies with everything we ask and has done remarkably well with the structure. He makes his bed in the morning, brushes his teeth and flosses daily, he dresses himself and is very independent. He willingly and voluntarily helps me with house cleaning, He takes his plate from the table and puts it in the dishwasher. He has done so well here that he was released from his counselling but he has two problems. He lies about everything and he talks back, even though he always complies afterward. I put him on a week (not month) of no telling lies. He seems to try, but still has failed his first week. I just added another week to his grounding. (playing with friends etc..) He has told doctors and CSB workers that I lie (which is no consequence to me). His guardian ad-litem, his case worker and his counsellor all love us and they see how happy he is and that he's thriving here. He loves us and we are the best when things are going well, but he says he doesn't want to live here when he doesn't get his own way (typical). Am I doing the right thing here, or should I try another approach under the circumstances? Also, should I ground him from going to the park with us, fishing, things we do as a family? Thank you.

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