"To be an effective disciplinarian, you must be a model of self-discipline. "

dad on very different page

Question

Do you have any advice for a parent who is the primary disciplinarian in a 2-parent household?

For example, after my daughter receives punishment from me for a misbehavior, her dad will often hold and comfort her. He rarely, if ever, gives punishment himself (he calls me to do it).

This has created a situation where one parent (him) is favored over the other (me).

To clarify, my husband isn't against punishing our children, he just doesn't want to get his hands dirty with it. We actually discuss how to punish certain behaviors together ahead of time. But when the misbehavior actually occurs, instead of executing the plan himself, he calls me, says "she did ____", expecting me to do it.

Unintentionally, I react to this by punishing less and less, because I don't want to be the one villain of the house. So transgressions end up being inconsistently punished, and that isn't a good solution either because it doesn't solve anything.

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