Question
My soon to be 11 year old daughter “accidentally” hurts my just turned four year old son. I finally got her to confess that she sometimes hurts her brother and then tells us it was an accident. Most recently my son went into her closet and when he didn’t come out and was standing behind the door she rammed the door knob into his head. He was standing between the wall and the door when this happened. He started crying and she told us both it was an accident and hugged him and said sorry. Later upon discussing this issue with her she informed me that she should be an actress because she is a really good liar and that sometimes when she says it’s an accident it is really on purpose. I also have an 18 month old son she has told me that she accidentally hurts, but promises me that it was really an accident that she only hates the four year old not the younger brother. She also cusses at me and tells me that she is proud of her behavior. My two younger sons are well behaved and ten times easier to take care of then her. I am at a loss as to what to do. Last year we sent her to stay with her grandparents for a two month period, but they just spoiled her and we’re not working as a team with us her parents on any of the issues. Her bad behavior is changing the dynamic of our entire family when she acts out. We have no other family that she could stay with. The grandparents are my in-laws and do not approve of our marriage. I am not comfortable sending her there, but I do not know what else to do. She does not get in trouble at school and has good grades. We have done periodic room black outs where she only has a few books and nothing else even before following the Rosemond parenting method. Nothing works! She has a very small conscience. My husband and I were in our early twenties when we had her and did not say no basically at all until around age 5. I know that a large part of this if not all is our fault, but it just seems to late. I love my daughter and when we are one on one she is well behaved, but she is a jealous monster to her brothers. Please help. Also I want to add that she calls us all names constantly and no we do not treat her that way.
