Question
After 11 yrs of marriage, my husband and I have decided to go our separate ways. However, before we file for divorce, sell the house, etc., etc. We have a ton of debt to pay off. And with the cost of living, neither one of us can afford to live alone and pay off the debt we have. All that to say that nothing drastic will happen for probably a year. (That’s a guess) Nothing regarding behavior will change much as we’ve basically been living like room mates since our 7 yo was born. Really. Separate bedrooms, separate food (not my choice) We rarely if ever hug or kiss. He has let himself go, is depressed and his personal care is horrible. But it’s been like this for years.
I think our son knows things aren’t right. I’m afraid he will grow up thinking this is what a normal marriage looks like.
Therefore I’ve decided it really is time to make a plan and aim towards breaking up as soon as financially possible.
Side note: our son never picks his dad to go do things with. He always picks me. He is very aware of his dad’s impatience. Unfortunately, most of the time when our son or myself asks him to do something (play) with our son, his dad acts annoyed and just plain burdened. I almost think that when we finally are divorced and we have our own places, that the time his dad has him (whatever amount of time...2 weekends a month) will be more intentional.
My question: Do I wait to tell my son that his dad and I are planning to break up and eventually move into our separate places?
Do I say anything to him now at all?
Or do I wait until we start talks about listing the house for sale and start packing up?
