Occasional Angry Outbursts


My 7 year old son is a good kid. He’s generally kind, polite and respectful. But there are times (only happens at home) when he doesn’t get his way and I see this rage well up in him. He starts to get a little physical....throwing a pillow at me maybe or pushing me or his dad. Or he breaks a pencil. And by that time he’s in tears. He verbalizes well that he’s angry. When I ask him why...sometimes he says he doesn’t know and sometimes he says it’s because he’s mad at himself because he’s bad. (It’s at that point that I tell him he is not bad. He made a poor choice or bad choice but he himself isn’t bad)
His dad and I both have told him that venting his anger via any physical means is unacceptable. Except maybe beating his pillow up? (But I even question that)
We don’t know where this comes from as his dad and I don’t express anger uncontrolled through physical means.
My question is how do I help him process through the anger so that he deals with it and it doesn’t build up inside and cause bigger problems later?
What alternative ways can he express it without being destructive? Or, is there an acceptable way to express it beyond verbally saying “I’m angry”?

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