"In the eyes of a child, parents are "mean" when the child discovers that they mean what they say. "

Rough Start on N75

Question

We are on day four of toilet training our 20-month-old daughter, and we have been following N75 as recommended—potty chair in main play area, potty bell, etc.
When she pees on the floor, she doesn't even notice she has gone. I will say "Oops, looks like you had an accident. Your pee goes in the potty chair, you need to go sit on the potty chair and try to pee in there." After she sits on the chair for a few minutes (without anything to show for it) I have her go clean up her mess from the floor and then we go wash her hands.
We have had no success with peeing on the chair. I feel as if she doesn’t make the connection that #1) she has peed and #2) that she needs to pee in the potty chair. We have made ZERO progress at all in four days. In fact, I feel like we are further behind than when we started!
Before, she would run over to her potty chair and be excited to sit on it. Now she will not go near it, she cries when the potty bell goes off, and when I take her over there she will kick and scream and hit me. I tell her “No hitting!” and I hold her hands so she stops, but I feel like it’s a power struggle to even get her to sit on the potty chair for more than 5 seconds---literally 5 seconds.
She pees on the floor every 15-20 minutes. Should I set the potty bell to every 20 minutes to try and get her to the potty chair before she goes on the floor? I don’t want to micromanage the process. Should I make her sit on the potty chair until she produces? It feels like it’s a power struggle to make her sit there, and I don’t want to start a power struggle.
Today, day four, I decided to put very thin cotton panties on her in hopes that the wet against her would help her to realize that she has peed. She has gone twice and it is still as if she doesn’t notice.
I am at a loss…I took a week off work and had hopes that at least she would make the connection that her pee goes in the potty, and that she would produce at least 25%-50% of the time when told. I am worried that we will not have any improvement by the end of the week and I do not want to send her back to daycare when she pees all over the floor every 20 minutes without any self-awareness. Should we wait and try again in a few months?

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