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Kicking An Angry 17 Year Old Out Of The Garden of Eden

Question

Our 17 year old son is completely out of control. None of the consequences that we have given him have helped. His biggest problem is his angry outbursts. He has destroyed his relationship with all of his sisters because of this and will not be able to maintain a healthy relationship as an adult if he can’t learn some self-control. He doesn’t have a car, so we can’t take that away. We’ve taken his phone away months ago and don’t plan on giving it back because every time we do, he abuses the privilege. We’ve tried taking his room away and only giving him the bare necessities. We put a deadbolt on his door so he couldn’t get in. He learned how to pick the lock. We’ve tried taking away social activities, but he just sneaks out of the house anyway. Any time we try to address his behaviors, he storms out of the house and disappears for hours at a time. Essentially, he is calling all of the shots in our house and getting away with it, because we have no consequences that are effective. I believe we have come to a point where we no longer have any influence on his behavior. He is already in therapy with a therapist who has gone through your program. We have been searching for a Christian residential treatment program that could help him with his self-control and teach him how to manage his anger. But we can’t find one that would take him involuntarily. He would never go voluntarily. We have even considered throwing him out, but in our state we cannot legally emancipate him until he’s 21 years old. Please help!

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