"There are no argumentative children; only adults who argue with children."

Distractible Kids - Frustrated Mom

Question

Dear Rosemond and team,

Im still having a tough time with the kids. I'll just write 2 questions in one - My almost 5 year old finally earned his 30 stickers (from no tantrums + aggression)..now how do I give back his privileges slowly? Whats the process?

For both kids, they've been testing me lately, with instructions.

Typical example: Parent: "Get your bedtime routine done please"
Child: "Starts a normal friendly conversations, with lots of questions" (and delays the requests for a couple of minutes)
Parent: (Cuts child conversation short) "Please get your routine done first, thanks" (However we're forced to repeat the instruction!!)
Child: "OK!" (And then sometimes has more questions)
Parent: gives a meaningful look and walks away - and later finds that child has completed only parts of the routine but not all of it, and is talking to her brother or whatever, and parent tells her she's being disobedient.
Child: "I was going to do it!!!" (a frequent protest recently to forgetting or not yet doing parts of the chore/instruction).

So my question is, is there a time limit? If so, what's reasonable? Do I even give a time limit, allow conversation...etc? Don't want to micromanage. They get it done - but eventually. Often so distracted that they forget parts of it, or forget the instruction altogether and claim they didn't hear me. Both are dreadful dawdlers in the morning, taking ages and ages to get through the morning routine as one example. Do I just leave it?

We're doing a 10 block weekly chart for the 8 yo and a 5 block daily chart for the 5 yo, with not obeying first time included on the list. I don't know what's natural here, or what's rigid when its time to call a strike for not obeying - as soon as possible or give it some time, how much time do I allow?

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