"The ultimate goal of raising children is to help them out of our lives and into successful lives of their own. "

Doing it Right Means Staying the Course

Question

Hello,
We recently asked a question about our seven year old son who was refusing to stay in his room after losing all his daily strikes. We were told to make him 'an offer he hopefully can't refuse' by removing something he loves to do until he has stayed in his room for a period of 14 days without incident.

So far he is on day two after almost a month. We stripped his room down to a bed and a couple of books.Yesterday he was at day six and came down to ask me for something but I was in the other room. While waiting for me he watched the tv. When I came out and saw him there I counted that as a loss of days and he started over. On second thought however, we aren't sure we understand what is to constitute an "incident"? We feel like we are asking him to accomplish a huge mountainous task and being to nit-picky about it. After losing his days he expresses feeling like he will never be able to complete this. He prays daily and recites Bible verses, he asks us to pray with him, and is genuinely making a huge effort most days.

I know that being willing to parent effectively and in the best interest of your kids is often hard, but my husband and I are pretty miserable. We miss our son being around and our days seem to just be tethered to this punishment. We are unsure we are acting this out right, as we feel like we and him aren't making any progress and that he feels demoralized and unable to do this. If we modify this in any way, will that just make him feel we are weak and don't mean what we say?

Thank you in advance for any advice you can give us.

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