"The child who is disciplined as well as he or she is loved is a happy, healthy child. "

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Question

I have been battling with my 4.5yr old son for a solid 2 years now. He hits, yells, and doesn’t listen to instructions even after multiple request. I have received advice from previous questions related to his behavior but his father isn’t completely on board. Mostly because dad is capable of making him behave.

Most recently my sons behavior has become more aggressive toward me. He explodes. Hitting me repeatedly, yelling, throwing things at me, and most recently started spitting at me. This behavior always occurs after he has been corrected on a poor behavior choice. I always tell Dad how he has reacted toward me and he hates it. Dad will talk with him and tell him he is not to behave toward me that way. He will recieve timeout, loss of TV, trash a toy etc...

Unfortunately my usual response to his misbehavior has been to become so frustrated and angry with him I end up exploding. I will either yell, spank, argue or be very mean. I know that my actions have likely resulted in his behavior toward me.

I have anxiety and constantly worry over his behavior at school,in public,and at home. I am destroying my child and our relationship. I have been trying to stay calm and assertive with discipline but still reverting back to my old ways. I have lashed out before I can stop myself. I immediately feel overcome with shame and guilt.

Have I ruined my son? Is it possible at this point and age to help him control his behavior? Is it too late to repair our relationship?

I feel defeated and trapped in this vortex!

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