"Don't ask a child a question if you don't mean for the child to have a choice in the matter. "

11 year old not paying attention to parents

Question

I just reviewed a questions from another subscriber using a ticket system with a 7 year old to nip multiple behaviors in the bud. In the answer I read "You cannot disciple or discipline a child who is not paying attention." I believe this is the core of issues with our 11 year old son and starting with our 7 year old daughter. How do we get them to listen to either one of us the first time we ask??? I assume our son is too old for tickets? He questions us when we say he is talking back. he says he was just explaining himself. Needs constant reminders to get stuff done - basics like combing his hair etc. Not like we have not been teaching him this since he could hold a comb but he is just off in space and neglectful of chores and personal responsibility. Our kids are both super loving, fun, love our "laying time" when we each as parents lay and chat with them about our days. We just started feeling some slipping with the talking back (our 11 year old), and having to repeat ourselves over all the time with both kids. We really struggle with what is the best consequence?? All we do is talk louder and get angry - we all know that does not work.

Thankyou

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