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GrandmaMa held hostage by the 4 year old

Question

I am back peddling to hopefully resolve a problem I most
Ilkely created! Just for transparency!,,,,,,,,,

I am raising a 4.5 yr old Grandson. Due to circumstances far beyond our control...we normally wake up when we do, and start our day. I am retired and we live alone.

Until now, we get up, start some chores, the have breakfast and then get dressed. That has been our routine. However, on the few occasions when I need for us to get up, ready and dressed to be out the door....it's a fierce battle to get him moving. With school in our near future, an my need to make appts.....I have begun to back peddle, and expect him to get up, go to the bathroom, and provide his clothes in the bathroom for him to dress himself before he comes out......this isn't going so well, other than to start my day with a high level of stress. This child will turn a 2 minute task of dressing into a 30 plus minute ordeal. Here is the tough part.....I have resorted to....leaving him in his pajamas and strapping him in his car seat....threatened to take him and drop him with his Aunt while I take care of my business, or leave him home with a baby sitter.....UNFORTUNATELY he is very bright, and knows there is no "babysitter". Nobody I can get to do this.....Aunt goes to community college and not likely to happen....can't leave him in the car in his pajamas when I go into a business. Unless you can help me with some alternative ideas here, he has the knowledge that my hands are tied. What I have done, by giving his pajamas to him to dress himself, is with hold his morning milk, until his clothes are on. That is somewhat effective. But he can drag that for 30 minutes.......this procrastination also occurs during the day if we are dressed and need to go.....drag, drag, drag around......HELP! I can set a timer all day, but given our situation for care givers and lack of ways to provide consequence, I can't think of any other exchange to get him moving. I do NOT like to reward him for what behaviors I expect of him...living with a Pokey Little Puppy who has an advantage is causing me a ton of frustration.

Sad part, he knows what he is doing.....if the exchange for getting ready quickly is "we are going to the park, to the farm, anything he wants, he moves with lightening speed. This pokey behavior also carries on to his chores. He can take hours to pick up his toys which should take 5 minutes. If I follow John's advice and tell him What I expect and walk off.....I return to him distracted and involved in some other type of play. Frustrated Grandma/mama

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