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Tantrums in 4 YO boy

Question

I’ve read many of the tantrums questions - how to deal when the child is 4-5. My child is 4 and throws multiple tantrums with plenty of disrepect - and demands that he needs to pee, he’s scared, and so on. Then rudeness and name calling. The screaming carries on for an hour and he triggers can be arguing w me about why I say no to things ( I usually stop n go away n his is a trigger) or when he doesn’t want to obey.. or a response to being disciplined. He hits, screams, calls mum and dad names, tells daddy it’s all mummy’s fault! And so on. He disrespects me especially when I discipline him. I get a strong feeling this kind of disrespect isn’t white noise to be ignored? His disrespect has gone from bad to worse and we have never been able to stop his tantrums or contain them well. If anything, they are going from bad to worse.
Now, in this situation do you ignore it n let it fizzle out, or discipline for tantrums or discipline for the disrespect that occurs during a tantrum? Tantrums are a huge thing at the moment. Amongst a myriad of many, many other things. I’d say the thing that disrupts the family most as his demands and tantrums. He’s still acting like 2.. and no, we never give in.

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